Author S. A. Lusher and I have been trying to recreate a detailed timeline of when we met, month for month with key events. This is a double-edge blade. On one hand, we can pull things out from it that we had once known and possibly improve them. On the other, we get to remember, in exquisite detail, what happened to us. Misery ensues along with happiness. I can say that it's helped a lot in terms of remembering what was important to us then and, in an odd way, still relevant now. The project was originally started in early 2012 and just now we're moving into documenting points from 2003 (the timeline starts in 2001).
I'm currently rewriting some of his older fan fictions as well. I feel now would be a good time to give them a makeover, especially since I won't have to work quite as hard on them. It's amazing what reading some books and eight years or so of thinking can do for you as an author. Our second project was writing down all the classic song we used to listen to. That list is actually done or at least mostly complete. At the moment, I'm separating them into playlists relevant to each set of years, which usually occur in threes. It's bittersweet from my current perspective. Yes, those songs are awesome and yes, I had a lot of good times while that music played. But those people and places are gone now. One of our favorite places to walk has been completely made over - there's not much left if anything.
Xanga is more useful in terms of retrospect for anything 2005+. A lot of stuff before that only exists as a small amount of pictures, text files, operating systems or music. We're not at a total loss, but it's difficult trying to remember everything.
Through this, I've led myself to realize a few things. Through all the turmoil, all the happiness, all the people, all the places and all the memories, I need to let go and just leave behind everything that has already been. This will serve as useful for me with my music, writing, art and movies. Even in other facets like programming and philosophy, it will all come full circle. That's why I'm creating the timelines of music, events and documents.
It's why I'm rewriting his old fan fictions. Giving them a final wave goodbye in the most respectful way I can, which to me is one last rewrite or compilation. As I'm sitting here, I'm thinking about the past six years, all the things I've done and haven't done. I'm on the cusp of a new life and while yeah, I feel pretty depressed right now, I am somewhat excited to drop everything and start over. Not just get a new job, but get a new career, a new place, a new outlook, a new body, a new portfolio of everything creative I've done.
As for the moment, I'm going to go take a walk. Think a little bit.
-to be expanded on in several hours-